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Jokes that did not make it for the hitparade of the worst 20

What does a crocodile say after it ate a clown? - "Tastes a little bit funny."

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In the middle of the night a doctor calls the plumber about a burst water pipe in his house. The plumper refuses to come, saying it is late. The doctor replies: "But if you feel sick you also expect from me that I help you immediately". So the plumper finally agrees and goes to the doctor. The bottom of the house is already flooded, the water already 50 centimeters high. The plumper trows two washers into the water and says "If it doesn't get any better by tomorrow, please call me again."

***

How do you know that an elephant is in your fridge? - Check for footprints in the yoghurt.

 

 

 

Some of the 20 worst jokes

All these jokes have been discovered on the website of the German weekly magazine, "Der Spiegel". They are the result of a user survey looking for the 20 worst jokes.
Translation done by us.

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Two chocolates fall down a flight of stairs. Says the first: "I think I broke all my rips". Replies the other: "I feel even worse, I fell on my nuts".

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Ring, ring, ring. "Good morning, do you have prezels?" - "Sorry, boy. But we will have prezels tomorrow." The next day: Kling, Klang, Klong. "Good morning, do you have prezels?" - "Yes, my dear boy. We have prezels." - "Do you have prezels with topping and crums?" - "No, boy! But we will have prezels with topping and crums tomorrow." The next day: Ring, ring, ring. "Good morning, do you have prezels with topping and crums?" - "Yes, my dear boy. We have prezels with topping and crums?" - "Do you have prezels with topping and crums and the writing 'For my mother's birthday' on top"?" - "No, boy! But we will have prezels with topping and crums and the writing 'For my mother's birthday' on top tomorrow." The next day: Ring, ring, ring. "Good morning, do you have prezels with topping and crums and the writing 'For my mother's birthday' on top?" - "Yes, my dear boy. We have prezels with topping and crums and the writing 'For my mother's birthday' on top. Shall I wrap you one?" - "No thanks, I just eat it like this."

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Why do blondes go to the movie theatres in large groups? - Because the movies are rated 18.

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Two tomates meet on a road. Says one: "Hey, take care, here comes a car." Says the other: "Goodbye, Ketchup."

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85 percent of all women consider their a*s too fat - but 15 percent would remarry him again.

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"Waiter! There is a hearing aid in my soup." - "What?"

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Two wanderers meet in the desert. Asks the first "Why do you carry this phone booth with you?" Answers the other one: "If a lion approaches, I go in the phone booth and close the door fast. But why do you carry this heavy stone with you?" - "If a lion comes, I will drop the stone so that I can run faster."

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Two drunkards in the swimming pool. Says one: "Come, finish your drink, we want to go."

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Two cows meet. Says one: "Mooh." Says the other "The same thing I also wanted to say."

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A man goes to the market and asks for "two pounds of tomatoes". Replies the vendor: "It is called now kilo". Surprised the man answers: "Oilei, no longer tomatoes?"

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"Do you know already the latest joke from the Bureau of Statistics?" - "Maybe..."

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Yells the nurse: "Doctor, doctor, the patient faking sickness in room 7 has passed away!" The doctor replies: "Now he is really overdoing it..."

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Why does the Fiji Navy no longer has submarines? - Last Sunday was "Open door day".
PS: Originally this joke refers to Austria, a completely land-locked country

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Two fuel tanks meet. Asks the first: "So, how does it go?" - "Normal. What about you?" - "Super."

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What is red with two green stripes and drives up and down? - Two tomatoes with suspenders in a lift.

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A pedestrian asks a fisherman: "Isa lei, do they bite?" Answers the fisherman: "Sega, you can caress them."

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We hope that you have still enjoyed this "worst jokes".

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 last modified 28 Februar, 2008